I spent a lot of this summer worrying about things that I had absolutely no control over. On the day of my visa appointment I had every part of my application notarized and photocopied to perfection; I triple-weighed my monster suitcase to be sure it wasn’t over 50 pounds; I had my papers and documents neatly organized in my carry-on. And still I have often lain awake, telling myself that I would be denied a visa, or my luggage would be lost, or I wouldn’t have the map to tell my taxi driver where to take me. The anxieties spin around on top of each other, twisting and piling up until I’m not just stressed but frustrated, mad at myself for worrying about things that I have no power over. I could so clearly picture these scenarios, convinced that they were “worst-case.”
But today, it all was just fine for me. The border control agent hardly glanced at my visa; my bag was waiting for me at the carousel; my taxi driver found the school with no problem. And I have a single! My own bedroom! And we had such a fun afternoon exploring Trastevere and jumping right into our culinary hopes and dreams with gelato and rich, rich pasta. It all went so much better than I had imagined, and I am cautiously feeling more optimistic about this semester than ever.
Obviously I know I’m still going to worry. Rome is still completely foreign to me! I don’t speak Italian, and I don’t know the neighborhood, and everyone here is new, and it doesn’t feel like home, and I still need to sort out my credit card (note to self: sort out your credit card!). Every day of this semester is going to involve so many new things, and people, and experiences, and it’s scary. But I was so stressed about just getting here, and I got here just fine. None of my “worst-case” scenarios were actually worst-case at all, and I am so grateful for this day of new perspectives and scary experiences to teach me that. Most prominently, the serious medical emergency that happened to a woman on my flight and the wonderful, miscellaneous team of people that assembled to help her.
So today, with a tiny bit of optimism/confidence and a very, very thankful heart, I need to offer some blessings. Blessings to the woman named Lilian sitting right behind me who passed out while we were still 4 hours from Rome and was unresponsive for almost an hour. Blessings to her daughter and sister-in-law, who stayed so calm while answering questions about their loved one’s medical history. Blessings to the two flight attendants who relentlessly searched for a pulse too weak to be felt, and lifted up the arm rests so she could lay flat. Blessings to the physician/passenger who stepped in and administered the defibrillator confidently and quickly, and the nurse practitioner who gave her an oxygen mask and took her blood pressure every fifteen minutes for the rest of the flight. Blessings to Anastasia the nurse anesthetist who was on her way to her honeymoon and gently gave Lilian an IV to help her recover, improvising a tourniquet with a rubber glove. Blessings to my hands (if I can be precocious enough to bless myself) that were still shaky and jittery a few hours later, though they did nothing but fold in prayer and briefly hold up the IV bag. Blessings to anyone, anywhere, who has had to use a familiar skill in an unfamiliar scenario to save a life. And continued blessings for Lilian, who walked off the plane four hours later feeling much better and embarrassed to have caused such a fuss.
So my heart is full of blessings tonight, but I’m off & we’ll see how it goes! Grateful for this crazy, wonderful life that lets me (an absolutely unqualified twenty-year-old) hop on a plane to the Eternal City to learn about dead people and a dead language for four months. Cheers!
Wright Now 